Random Thoughts: Breaking Dawn Part I

11:47 PM Jean Melgar 0 Comments

SPOILER ALERT!
First of all, I want to inform the general public LOL that I'm not a Twilight fan. I did not (actually, I attempted to) read the books. I do not dig the sparkling vampire thing. I hate Bella Swan. I do like that Jacob's body is yummy. I regret that I deleted my WordPress blog cos I have my random thoughts post there about the first Twilight movie. Anywaaaaay.
  1. What the heck? Why is there a part one of this movie? Are they seriously dragging this plot and make a part two? Are they trying to go all Harry Potter on us? (I love HP.)
  2. But really, how many movies/books are there? They created three (four?) movies out of this shitty love story? Is this even for real?
  3. Why are we still on this pa-cutesy vampire bandwagon? Why? I want the real vampires back please. 
  4. I remember from the first Twilight movie that I hated their makeup. No improvement in that department. Their makeup still suck. They should sue their MUA for making them look ugly.
  5.  In fairness, Bella's wedding gown wasn't that bad. I think I actually like it. Hmmm.
  6. That wedding kiss is too passionate. There are people watching. Get a room!
  7. Why is Bella still human? For the past movies she's all "Oh please turn me into a vampire now." and then suddenly she doesn't want them to turn her? What's your problem, Bella Stinking Swan?
  8. Whoa. Wait. Bella and Edwardzzz are going to go down and get dirty? There are children in the cinema!
  9. Bella, why you acting all scared and shiz? You knew this day would come. You knew that someday you will say goodbye to your V. Why so anxious, gurlfran? You've been seducing him for the past forever. 
  10. Whoa. Wait again. Bella and Edz are really going to do it! And their honeymoon scene is like forever! OK, we get it. They do it. They like doing it. Bella is a sex addict. Let's move on.
  11. Bella is doing it with a cold corpse! She is a necrophiliac! This is wrong. So wrong. 
  12. Edward likes it rough. I'm sad that every time they do it, he destroys a very beautiful rest house in Brazil.
  13. Bella likes it rough with a corpse. Disgust. 
  14. How can a human be impregnated by a vampire? How? In this sick twisted sparkly world of Stephenie Meyer, it is possible.
  15. Why is Bella still fawning over Jacob? Aren't you, like, married? Ugh. 
  16. A vampire in Bella's tummy! Yay for killer baby!
  17. What is up with the wolves? You need to get a life, guys.
  18. Bella drinking blood using a straw. Snazzy. 
  19. Edward performed C-section on Bella by eating her tummy! Gross!
  20. Bella is an ugly corpse. Is Edward biting her to extract the remaining blood? Thirsty? 
  21. Bella's skin is so nice when she reached vampirehood. 
  22. My head is aching.
  23. Stephenie Meyer is crazy and lame.
I told you, random. TL;DR

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