Growing up, up, up.

3:41 PM Jean Melgar 0 Comments

In a few days, I will be one year older. I have no plans and I'm still thinking if I should celebrate or not. What's to celebrate anyway? I do not have funds and I highly doubt my friends will shell out money just to throw me a party. Money is tight. You know what I really want to do? My laundry. I'm accumulating dirty clothes, ewww. I would really like to spend my day in clean clothes. 

I've been feeling a little off lately. I don't know what to feel about growing up. I don't feel older, just more responsibilities. Growing up is fun and stressful at the same time. I enjoy the independence, maturity, and new adventures. I loathe financial problems, career struggles, and social expectations. 

At my age, I'm confused on what I should be doing. Should I pursue my current career? Should I stay and keep strong? Working here is fun but yeah, there a lot of downs, too. Should I apply for a PhD program? Which program will that be? Should I stick to plants or move to health/clinical research? Many scientists don't become scientists overnight. They study then study more. Should I transfer to a new company? Should this company be here or in another country? Working hard is not fun when you get paid like a mouse. I need money. Should I get married? When should people start considering marriage? What is the right age to bear a child and start a family? What is the right age when society no longer thinks you're too young or too old to get married? A lot of my peers are married, engaged or with kid/s. They look happy. A lot are also single and happy.

See how confused I am? I would like to think I'm not the only one. 

I'm still stressed. Is this universe's birthday gift to me? A punch in the face? Thanks, universe.