Let's Be Real: Envy and Priorities

11:09 PM Jean Melgar 4 Comments

Let's be real here. Who has never felt envious? I'm not always envious of others but I feel it from time to time and today is one of those days.

I have the usuals. Let me give you a rundown.

  • Material stuff. How come this person has a better car than me? How did that girl acquire so many designer bags when I don't even have one? How come he owns his own condo unit already and I live with my folks? How can this girl afford all the new makeup palettes when mine are all old drugstore brands?

  • Experiencing the world. How come this person has been all over the world when I just travel around Asia? How can she be a citizen of the world while I'm stuck in my hometown? How can she afford to take multiple long leaves at work? How wonderful for her to leave in a posh city across the globe while I'm here, just here.

  • Career and education. I started so young, why am I stuck here? How come younger researchers are doing their PhD already while I'm still meh. My peers are doing their Post Docs while I sit and wait for what exactly? I write down all the names of the people in the meeting I'm in and their all Dr. Something. 

  • Family and marriage. My age is barely hanging on the calendar and I'm still not married while people my age are pushing out Baby No. 3. Why are younger people getting married after a 1-year relationship while I'm in a 10-year relationship and we're just chill? How many more times do I have to explain myself why I'm not married yet to family and friends?

Whoa, you might say. But hey this is not everyday occurrence and definitely doesn't occur simultaneously. That would be too crazy! It usually happens when I'm PMS-ing or I'm having a really shitty day at work. Other than these, it's all flowers and rainbows in my garden. 

I think what triggers my envies the most is social media. I mean, who posts ugly pictures of themselves in Instagram, right? Everything is beautiful, spic and span, according to plan, and white. Why is everything white??? Tell me!

I was washing my face, getting ready for bed when it hit me. It's all about priorities.

Some people prioritize designer things while others want to spend their hard-earned money on traveling. Other people put their careers on hold and risk it so they can study further. Others prioritize furthering their careers than starting a family. While some, on the other hand, would rather start a loving family.

I often wonder where my money goes and how come I don't have what others have. I finally realized it now. I spend my money on my priority, love. I spend a big chunk of my money going to South Korea and living there. I don't travel much to other countries because every time there is a chance to travel, I always go to Franco. I can't buy a lot of material things because I spend my money on dining out with Franco or my family. I can't afford a condo unit because I bought a pretty car. I chose having a car over having my own place because I love spending time with my family anyways. I'm not doing my PhD yet because Franco and I are taking turns. We have a plan for ourselves and that includes our education and careers. If I move to a posh city across the globe, that would mean I would move farther away from Franco and I don't want that. I'm not yet married because it's not yet my time. There is a perfect time for everything.

I choose love. I will keep choosing love because even if I get the envies from time to time, love is what makes me truly happy. And I will stick with that.


  1. I get the envies all the time especially when it comes to material stuff and Family and Marriage. I used to feel okay, because at least I have someone to share this sucky life with, which was my ex. After ending our 7-yr relationship, the envies just started happening more frequently. I tell myself why am I so unlucky, not just in love, but life in general? But then it just hits you, we all take some time to make things happen. Some maybe a little longer than others, but it doesn't make you any less successful.

    Ang dami kong sinabi, lol. I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog! I may not have a condo or a car but choosing to celebrate and spend everything I have on love isn't bad at all. ☺

  2. Everyone gets a case of the envies from time to time! Especially in the age of social media, where we get to observe even the tiniest details of each other's lives. If I may make a comment from the outside looking in, I think it's great that you are still able to take things into perspective. Not all of us remember to. :)


  3. I would have to agree with Dani! Everyone does experience envies from time to time, but I guess it would still be up to us if we would let these affect our lives. :) Maybe instead of being envious, we can always look into it as some kind of inspiration. It all boils down into perspective and your choices, really. Hehe!!! xx

  4. I am so stealing that term, "the envies." Love that. And sweet post. But as someone feeling a bit stuck in my own marriage right now, I do feel the need to remind you to prioritize yourself as well. I gave up a lot for love and to start our own little family, and I think that risk is always worth it, BUT you should also tuck away some mad money for yourself, and make sure you keep treating yourself occasionally as well. (:

    Hope you don't mind the life advice from a stranger. Found you through Helga's 10 Happy Things linkup.